Everyone expects an introvert to be shy and reclusive. Even though we spend way more time introverting than following the crowd, people only see our outgoing side. If they are around to see us go from fully charged, to depleted, they will usually think one of three things: We are just as perplexed by our own behaviour. You need alone time before and after socializing. Your social energy has an expiry date. Ample alone time before and after social spurts helps you to recharge. You are very selective with your social calendar. You know that you only have so much energy for socializing. This is why you often take a long time deciding whether to go out or not.
Below are these three levels of mastery and what they mean, at least to me. To be clear, what constitutes these three levels is strictly my opinion. The Beginner The beginner is obviously the guy who is just starting out.
Introverts are extremely good listeners and can offer advice that is genuine and sincere.
Unlike extroverts, who feel at ease talking and making their feelings and opinions known to anyone who will listen, introverts tend to keep their feelings and opinions on the inside, at least until you get to know them. Because introverts are harder to get to know and harder to read, they may come off unfriendly. Not surprisingly, dating can be more challenging for the introvert. Yet attractive people can be introverted too, even shy — the Attractive Introvert A. Back in high school, I was a cute girl — nothing special, but attractive.
But it was a powerful lesson for me that I often appeared unapproachable to men.
6 Illustrations That Show What It’s Like in an Introvert’s Head
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Her philosophy is “the more, the merrier.
When I was three, my parents took me to the hospital. And, for the first half of my life, I assumed something was wrong with me as well. Why was I fine shooting pressure-filled foul shots in front of thousands of people, but overcome with anxiety if made to change homerooms? Why did people think I was uncaring when I actually cared so much that it could be paralyzing? And why did it take so much damn energy for me to engage in small talk and flirt?
You have no idea how relieved I felt after learning there was an actual name for people built the way I was. And, the gradual acceptance and embrace of being an introvert actually helped me socially. Ironically, learning that there was nothing wrong with considering small talk, flirting, and approaching women to be arduous tasks helped me get better at doing it. There was still one problem. I was and still am a Black male.
And, of the myriad things Black men are expected to be, introverted is not one of them. Each shared, cosigned, forwarded, and commented on numerous times, but none specifically addressing how to successfully navigate life as Black male who also happens to be introverted. Well, none until today. Embrace who you are.
Dating While Introverted: What You Need to Know
June 4, By Love Engineer Editor 27 Comments Shares There is all types of engineers out there and each of them can vary in personalities. But like all men they are simple. But like with any man they have their needs as do women. When dating an engineer you have to remember they think analytical and practical.
Most introverts love to meet people.
Apr 13, Fox 1. It’s OK if you’re not an extrovert. Just because she’s an extrovert doesn’t mean you have to be the life of the party yourself. It’s totally cool if you’re more the quiet type who prefers to stay in the background. She loves trying new things. Her focus is outward on stimulating and exciting activities. You’ll capture her attention by going on dates to places she’s never been before. Take her rock climbing and then go check out that new Vietnamese sandwich place together.
Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 3. Conversation with her is easy. You won’t have long, awkward pauses talking to an extrovert.
Are You an “Attractive Introvert?”
So do guys like shy girls and find them attractive? You bet they do! Some guys avoid talking to you. And the ones who are close to you think you need to start interacting with people more often. How does life feel as a shy girl?
Why did people think I was uncaring when I actually cared so much that it could be paralyzing?
What do guys like in a girl? What do men want in a woman that makes them see them as a catch? Moreover, we also need to factor in what men want in their life. We need to look at all three areas because they are interconnected. Some men love science, others are uninterested. Some men love fitness, some love leisure, some love humor.
Every man loves something and it is plain as day if you actually look for what your man loves. When you know what he loves, you want to start digging to really understand the emotions he has about that particular thing. Do you like concerts in general, or is it just because you like that artist? Go deep and really learn about his loves, his passions, and his interests. This will accomplish the following things: In relationship terms, men love sharing what they love with people and having those people love it too.
In a strange way, sharing what we love with someone else makes it fresh for us again.
On Successfully Navigating Life As A Black Male Introvert
Apr 17, GettyGetty Images When my partner and I first moved in together, the biggest source of conflict in our relationship was how loudly it’s appropriate to listen to Bikini Kill while washing the dishes Me: But a very close second was the disparity in our social drives. I happen to be married to a classic introvert someone who is usually drained, rather than energized, by large groups of people , while I tend to be much more outgoing.
Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Introvert-extrovert relationships can be wonderful and satisfying, but they definitely require communication and compromise, which is one thing they have in common with, oh, every other kind of relationship in existence. Here are some tips for keeping your introvert-extrovert relationship running smoothly: This means you have to be much more specific than “I feel like going out.
But that doesn’t mean they don’t have deeper values or never pick up a book.
Say yes to everything! For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. In fact, any form of socializing has the potential to deplete these stores. Blind or Internet dating? But is it all bad news? Unfortunately, you still have to go on dates. Do you want to be in love?
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This post is really interesting to read and I can relate to so much of it, definitely number 6! Love your photograpghs, so beautiful! Outdoors Wonders Loving this article. You are a truly inspiring woman. I believe your transformation makes a lot of sense. Life is exciting again!
For example, when I have a new girlfriend, one of the first things I want to do is watch all of my favorite movies with her.
When do you tend to feel the most energized: Whether you lean toward introversion or extraversion doesn’t just affect your social preferences, either; here are 15 ways it can also affect your physical and mental health. Even just the pace of conversation can be demanding and mentally draining, she adds. If you do have social anxiety , research shows that people probably like you more than you think.
They don’t feel the need to always be “on” with other people, and may not be as insulted if they’re not included in something. Of course we can feel left out too, but somehow we’re able to shut it off a little more easily. But she argues that once introverts get past that hurdle, they actually have some advantages over introverts—like the desire to make deep one-on-one connections.